[aziz_unreal]

Do you guys think people are way too disrespectful to their parents in this last decade or so?

[Pphilip]

There is the Hawaiian members, North American members and even UK members with their point of view.

The model set by Oyasama has her own children doing things that she did not approve of but could not stop it. It is a natural evolution that goes on for each generation and to make a stereotype statement needs some parameters to prove or disprove your statement or point of view.

Even within five years there is a lot of changes. The person who has a perspective will be influenced by his status in life. If a person is taking care of a toddler, their perspective is different from a parent of a teenager.

Of course your child will listen to a different sort of music, but some of the core beliefs get transfered. Hopefully it is being honest, being diligent and rising early as the basic core for all Tenrikyo members. From there we vary widely and hopefully want to lead a joyous life.
_________________
hinokishin without a thought
makes work easier and done worthy
One's joyous life will come about,
amazingly without a doubt.

[Roy T Forbes]

The original question was: "Do you guys think people are way too disrespectful to their parents in this last decade or so?" The question can be addressed from any number of perspectives. Maybe Aziz can elaborate on what brought about the question in the first place (some context may reveal some interesting ways to readdress the question) but I will take an initial effort here in sharing my views on the matter.

Although adults from the beginning of recorded history and probably even before have always worried about how the next generation is going to turn out*, certain developments do seem to give credence to the view that parents do not seem to command the respect as they once did in previous generations.

(*A recent Newsweek article -- "Girls Gone Bad?" briefly addresses this: "The text on a Sumerian tablet from the village of Ur (located in modern-day Iraq) says: 'If the unheard-of actions of today's youth are allowed to continue, then we are doomed'." See the following link for more: http://bulletin.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=225480)

But before I go any further, however, I must mention that "respect" is something that is difficult to measure objectively especially across time and space--and not to mention there is also the issue whether respect is best measured by a person's words or actions toward another or if there is something more that can be added to the equation.

Nevertheless, In Japan, where I happen to live now, there appears to be a rise in incidents where children are killing their parents. There also seems to be an increasing number of infants or small children who end up dying at the hands of abusive or negligent parents. The Shinbashira Zenji Nakayama's words from his Instruction One nearly nine years ago--"There is a growing tendency for people to think that all is well if the present is well for oneself along, and the weakening ties between husbands and wives and between parents and children are undermining the very fabric of society"--aptly describes the situation today as well.

We may ask ourselves: what has brought this "weakening ties between parents and children" about? A variety of factors that are certainly involved. First of all, it seems that parents do not seem willing to teach their children to respect their elders, of if they are, they are failing miserably at it. Some parents seem to be refusing to assume their role as disciplinarians or have seriously considered that they should demand some degree of respect from their children. Some parents are not fulfilling their role as parents in the way that they see themselves as their children's "best friends," which results in pampering and spoiling them. Japanese economist and psychologist Michiyoshi Hayashi, says: "The role of a father is to unite the family, set basic principles, transmit culture, and teach social rules. As this role becomes undermined, children lose their opportunities to learn the standards to which they base their value judgments and basic conduct. 'A father that is like a friend' is not a true father. A father is someone who transmits his culture to his children."

There is a Japanese proverb that says, "A child grows up watching the backs of his/her parents." In days of old, this was more or less true. Most children grew up seeing their parents hard at work either in the rice fields or in town making crafts or selling their services. They were keenly aware of the hard work their parents put into making a living.

Fast-forward now to the modern age, where factories and business offices have become the main employers of adults who have taken Father, and increasingly Mother as well, out their homes for most of the day. Most children in this age rarely see their fathers at all, adding the time that goes into the daily commute these days. Fathers, and increasingly mothers, are deprived of their role as parents. They often end up being their children's roommates at the very most. There is of course the fact that there are more distractions today for both parents and children that decrease the little time families have to talk and interact with one another. And given that Japan's and much of the American educational system is in shambles, no wonder that today's children grow up without respecting their parents.

But are things really hopeless? Essentially I am more concerned about the prospects in Japan than the US. The US is probably more religious than any time in its history. Though I of course have my misgivings about Christians who take the Bible as the literal word of God, I at least feel they are able instill some positive values in their children. Japan, on the other hand, the majority of the population is not only irreligious but increasingly losing their traditional values to nihilism and mass anomie.

Oyasama, our Foundress, treated and spoke to children with utmost respect. (see my post under the Shonenkai section on the main index for more) I find that most Tenrikyo followers either are not aware of this precedent or unwilling to practice this in their own lives. Hopefully we will all have an awakening sooner or later that will let everyone know that this situation cannot continue.

I can only hope that Tenrikyo as a whole can do whatever it takes to guide the next generation of not only their own followers, but the world as a whole towards a brighter future. Whether its members are willing to step up to take upon this challenge however, remains to be seen.
_________________
"It is of utmost importance to have a mind that does not allow things to go to waste or to spoil. It is against the Truth of Heaven (Ten no ri) to use things carelessly." - The Honseki (Main Seat) Izo Iburi

[lewdev]

I noticed when you quoted "Instruction One," you wrote:

"There is a growing tendency for people to think that all is well if the present is well for oneself along, and the weakening ties..."

I think you should change it to alone to not give the wrong message or confuse future readers.

Roy, you should start an online column or blog. It would be highly informative and something I, as well as many others, would visit frequently.


Edit: we should also move this thread to the "Questions" section.
_________________
"One World, One Family" -Tenrikyo
http://lewdev.net

[Roy T Forbes]

oopsy-daisy! Thanks for the correction, Lewis! What an embarrassing typo at such an important place!
Starting an online column/blog has actually been on my mind recently... Thanks for the recommendation! Maybe you can give me suggestions on what places are best to have one. My work is limited for now on Tenrikyo Forum since there are not so many contributors to the site. Maybe I should move on sooner or later since the last thing I want to do is eclipse Yuji's number of posts on his own site!

[lewdev]

I've been working on a web application... all planning is generally done, I just need to get to it... when it's done, I'll be able to aide you in creating a website that you could use. I can throw in a domain name too.

When it'll be done... hopefully this Spring break....
_________________
"One World, One Family" -Tenrikyo
http://lewdev.net